Bottling up your emotions is not healthy so let it rip, it will be understood and no shame in that.
My teacher probably would have said the same thing. (That reminds me, I need to call him sometime. Its been a while, but we became pretty close.)
The defeating yourself part was ment to mean that you defeat your emotions while fighting. Utilize adrillian, and do not get angry. Anger can cause you to get hurt, or go to far against the opponent. I do not think that he had any intentions for that advice to be used in these types of situations.
That being said, it took Cynthia for me to learn that being soft can be a good thing outside of a fight situation. I learned that while being with her, but it was initially to be soft with her. Now I am using what she taught me outside of a fight situation. (I refuse to use the word Combat, as true combat is fighting for your life. At least, that is the way I view it.)
I have the recording of the last time I saw her alive located in several places. HD, FD, Memory Card, and Google Drive. I can share if anyone wants to see it. Its not the best quality (Despite the device recording in high def...) but that will give you guys an idea of who all was there, and what we where doing. There is no crying, but that is because we expected a few weeks at least. She passed away 2 days after the recording.
I would post it here anyway, but the reason that I am asking is because the recording is in HD, and therefore weighs a lot. Around 400MB if I am not mestaken. I just do not wish for anyone to be caught off guard.
Oh, and because I am a dumb a**, I recorded it upside down. Anyone wishing to view it would have to use VLC or a program like that which can correct my mestake. In VLC it is automatic, but I am not sure about other players...
Got off on a tangent for a sec, sorry. I have some great news. A Chaplin that was a good friend of my mothers decided that he would finish covering the cost where we could not. I just talked to him about 10 mins ago.