Jokes N Stuff!

[NikonGuy]

Why can't you hear 2 bunnies having sex?
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Cotton balls.

 

[strollin]

How can you tell a snowman from a snow woman?
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snowballs

 

[setishock]

You guys have way too much time on your hands.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XcKBmdfpWs

 

[Smart_Guy]

A mechanic bought a new bed... slept under it.

 

[Celery]

How do you know if a cat burglar has been in your house?






Your cat is missing.

 

[Smart_Guy]

Oh boy, if I don't have a cat I wouldn't know then!

 

[Celery]

Dr. Phil was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children on his TV show. "You all have obsessions," he observed.

All denied being obsessed with anything. "You are -- all of you!" he insisted.

"You are obsessed with eating," he said to the first mother. "You've even named your daughter Candy."

She hung her head in shame.

He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is with money: Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

She gave a resigned nod.

He turns to the third mom. "Your obsession is alcohol. This, too, manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."

She looked at her little girl with a tear in her eye.

But before Dr. Phil could say another word, the fourth mother gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and says, "Come on Dick, we're leaving."

 

[Celery]

A blind guy walks past a fish market. He says, "Good afternoon, ladies."

 

[Draygoes]

A blind guy walks past a fish market. He says, "Good afternoon, ladies."

*vomit*

 

[Draygoes]

Just saw a good one on Dump-a-day;

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just beat the room for being black..

Disclaimer: This joke is not mine, and is making fun of the police for brutality, not the victims of it.