My nephew the sneak thief

[Draygoes]

I'm so glad you got over it.

I really hate the reactionary Joe Bloggs, the public, who know nothing of heroin addiction. Myself, I have never touched any drugs - it's just something that has never interested me. But I have two cousins (both brothers) who's lives were/is absolutely ruined because of it - and they hate it. They have lost everything through it, and they have spilled their guts out to me. They felt/feel so guilty, so depressed, so hopeless, and are well aware of how it has/had destroyed their familys' live's - but no-one understands how powerful the addiciton is.

One of them, sadly, took his own life a couple of years ago, and left a note to his mother. It mostly contained an appology for all the heartbreak that he brought to her door, and that he couldn't live any longer as an addict. He was aware of all the harm, he had been in and out of rehab, and he was severely depressed over it all.

I don't know how it effects people, or if it is different for each individual - I'm ignorant of all that. But one thing I do understand is that 99% of addicts don't want to be an addict, and it's a very powerful thing that is very hard to move from, and in all cases they are still human and feel shame like anyone else would (at least they felt like this sober).

I absolutely applaud you Sir, and I wish you the very best and may you continue being sober! Drug addiction is something I wouldn't wish on my worse enemy, I have seen first hand its effects not only on the individual, but the family too. Yet you have overcome it. Hat's off to you too for being so open. People so often misunderstand addicts - it's often so much easier just to point, redicule, and isolate rather than trying to understand. I genuinely do hope you feel proud of yourself: it's a trap few experience, and even fewer escape from.

The withdraw is one thing, but the dreams afterward that last for years... Not somthing I enjoy thinking about. I still dream of the stuff.

The worst part of the experiance is when you run out of money (You gotta keep the electricity on, then take care of the habbit, or you will run out of money faster than you ever thought possible.). Once you run out of money, you do whatever it takes to get a couple of hundered dollars per day to support your habbit, and it most cases someone elses as well. Anything and everything that you do at that point is going to be a daily chore, and as morally corrupt as you may guess. Pan Handleing was my thing, which is actually a bit worse than stealing, because your technically stealing right in front of someones face.

Thank you for your kind words. Anyone whom is physically addicted to anything is not happy, and I have watched others go down in hard ways. At least a tobacco addiction is not going to kill you during withdraw. Heroin absolutly can. So, until you find help, you stand a very real chance of death from several angles. I got lucky. I found a free, outpatiant clinic that specialized in this type of thing which gives out Suboxone, which is a strip that you stick under your toung that desolves in seconds. Once in your system, the stuff tricks your brain into thinking you have had opiates, while blocking the real opiates, making the use of Heroin completely pointless. Each strip lasts for 24 hours, so you only have to dose once per day, every day for a week. The mental war never ends. To this day, I cannot be around anyone who uses, as the urge to use again would be way to powerful. I hate even being in a hospital because I know that they have Morphine, and that its way to easy to trick a doctor into allowing you to have some.

I have found it much more easy to be open on this site than any other because of you guys, so thank you all for that.
Again, thank you for your kind words. Even to this day, it means a lot to know that people care.

@Celery: You should consider talking with your nephew. Dont just let him know that you know, flat out tell him to knock that crap off. Its up to him if he wants to get clean or not (You would be supprised. He might really want to and just be afraid of what that means.), but stealing from your family is not only wrong, its destructive. You may be able to help him by finding a free (most are free) rehab, and trying to get him to at least give it a shot. Make sure that it is an in-patent rehab, and they will not let him leave until his body is clean. Just dont tell him that part.

EDIT
I want to make on thing very clear. I am not trying to make this thread about me. But I find that explaining based on experience helps far better, as people realize that I know what I am talking about. On cracked.com, I actually did help a heroin addict escape using this exact method. He PM'ed me after I explained the addiction and experiances asking for it, and has been clean for over a year now.

@Celery, you really want to also know that you will not be able to trick him by switching the pills out or anything like that. Any addict knows your pills better than you do. There are ways to help him, but that is not one of them.

 

[Celery]

Thanks but there's more to that and in history. He stole from my mom when she was alive and we were living with her. I was her caretaker and he was nothing but a punk and freeloads off her. Never look for a job but drink all night and sleep all day. I don't know why my mom put up with that but I didn't like it. My sis lived in the country and he didn't like being out in nowhere so my mom says he can move in with us.

It took everything I had not to blow his ass away, I'm just going to let the alcohol waste him. I guess you got it now, I don't like him, never did. I gave him a chance because he's 45 and working so I thought he's going to be ok and let the past be past but I was wrong. He's still a punk POS.

 

[Draygoes]

I edited my post above before I knew that you had posted, so please make sure to check that out...

I am sorry to hear that. At his age, he is not a lost cause, but does need serious help. A nice Duel Diagnosis clinic will be able to figure out what is wrong, and medicate him in the correct ways. If he wants the help, then he will take it. If not, then offer him a simple choice. Get help or get out. He will know that he cannot survive on the streets, and may take you up on it.

I do agree though, and it is far byond me to get involved in your family life. I am pretty sure I would be feeling the same way in your position. Stealing from your mother is one of the most discusting things someone could do. I completely agree, and sorry to hear that you have had to deal with someone like him. There are always limits, and even an addict should not be willing to cross those lines.

 

[Celery]

He can always go back to his wife for all I care. I don't have to guess why they separated.

He probably cheated on her.

 

[Draygoes]

Or the drinking... I can think of quite a number of reasons his ex-wife left him. Another thing about addicts is that they push everyone around them away eventually. He is blessed to have you, and to mess with you in the ways that he has is never something that he can explain. I wish you the best in this situation, and I hope that one way or the other you are able to fix the situation.
In a case like this, it really does come down to the person and people around them. At his age, he has had more than enough time to consider getting clean, and to decide if he want to help or harm his family. Again, you have my sympathys for going through this, and I really do wish you the best in this matter.

 

[connchri]

EDIT
I want to make on thing very clear. I am not trying to make this thread about me. But I find that explaining based on experience helps far better, as people realize that I know what I am talking about. On cracked.com, I actually did help a heroin addict escape using this exact method. He PM'ed me after I explained the addiction and experiances asking for it, and has been clean for over a year now.

I'm aware your trying to be humble, but it's still deserving of recognition. That all

Celery, I'm also not one to get involved, but if your nephew is an addict, speak to him. Upfront, direct, and so he knows where you both stand - but with an olive branch. My cousins did horrific stuff to each other (to the point that one stabbed the other through the cheek and over the face), they stole of their mother and a lot of other family members, it completely destroys you this stuff. In Scotland, we had (still have?) horrendous drug problems through the '90s and still some areas are wrecked by it (I think there's some figures that put 2% of out adult population as heroin addicts). Area's of Glasgow, a once very properous city (Cited, in the age of imperialism, as the Second City of the Empire), are nothing but ghetos. But the thing is, these people are human, know right from wrong, are emotionally aware, but can be uncontrollably pulled towards doing the wrong thing in the full knowledge (and with it, all the guilt that insues) toward drugs. I can't remember the full discussion one of my cousins had with me, he spilled his guts, he was in tears, it tore him to parts what he was doing to himself and those around them. That's when I changed from being reactionary and norrow minded (seeing addicts as scum and a bane on society) to seeing them as people who have a genuine problem, who need help, who are no different than anyone else, and can be good people in society. These people have so few people to turn to because they are labeled and shuned by society - and dare I say it, they are often misunderstood because people simply will not engage with them.

When my cousins off the stuff, he's one of the hardest working people I've had the misspleasure of working beside - I couldn't keep up! He has a problem, but that does't make him a bad person. No-one in their right mind would chose this way of life if they had a truely free choice in the matter. And they need rehibilitation, and everything that comes with it. Your nephew might well be a POS right now, but he has every potential to be a contructive member of society.

Anyway, I'm making a lot of assumptions up there, and your nephew might be nothing like my cousins. Again, I'm ignorant of being in that situation (that of an addict). I don't mean to sound as though I'm excusing him for all his bad deeds, but perhaps get you to see a different perspective if it's the possibility if him being an addict that has caused all these issues.

 

[Celery]

I appreciate what you're saying guys but it's not an addiction problem my nephew have he's a dick. Period. He used people to his advantage. He does not help out around here either. He does not give money to his mom for staying in our house. We own the house.

I just stay out of their business but when he's coming in my room and steal from me he's pushing his luck.

 

[Celery]

Had a talk with my nephew today. He wants to keep the cable TV so I told him you pay for it and you can keep it. $80 a month, he said ok.

 

[Legodude522]

One thing I don't miss about NJ is the heroin problem. I've lost several friends to it and still have other friends that are struggling. It has become a really big thing amongst young middle class white people in Jersey. You never know who is living the struggle.

 

[strollin]

I could never be a drug addict since I haven't a clue where I would go to buy any drugs.