Proper Geek Jokes

[ssc456]

Hey Guys,

Let's get some proper geek jokes on the go.
A little ashamed to admit it but I love them

The kinda jokes that you need to be a right old techy to understand.. .


A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"


EDIT: THIS ONE CROSSED THE LINE. TOO DIRTY.


Q: how many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: none, that's a hardware problem

A guy is standing on the corner of the street smoking one cigarette after another. A lady walking by notices him and says
"Hey, don't you know that those things can kill you? I mean, didn't you see the giant warning on the box?!"
"That's OK" says the guy, puffing casually "I'm a computer programmer"
"So? What's that got to do with anything?"
"We don't care about warnings. We only care about errors."

 

[ashpash21]

Nice. There actually alright. Where did you get them from?

 

[aPanzerIV]

I have a really strong urge to know what #2 was... >

 

[*= WildCat =*]

EDIT: THIS ONE CROSSED THE LINE. TOO DIRTY.

Awwwwwww missed it !

 

[Fujitsu_Technician]

Q: The command Prompt asks sam to change a password for the administator account.
A:Sam ses I can't allow you that change command prompt as you don't have administrative powers Access Is Denied.

 

[BikerEcho]

There are two ways to write error-free programs. Only the third one works.

Why do java developers need glasses? Because they can't c#

 

[ssc456]

The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong.

If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0.

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I'd antialias my graphics!

An infinite crowd of mathematicians enters a bar. The first one orders a pint, the second one a half pint, the third one a quarter pint… “I understand”, says the bartender – and pours two pints.

 

[berry120]

A string walks into a bar with his friend and says, "Hello, could I have a pint pleaseaehi t y4 p6i4ipy ai api6yp4i6 hia 4pih 4ayh 746a ,a46a46 a4p6ou4a , a46 aou[ aaaegkpe..."

...and then keeps on going for a while before collapsing. His friend turned to the bar tender and said "sorry mate, my friend wasn't null terminated."

 

[dale]

Two bytes bumped into each other on the street. One said to the other, "Are you sick?" To which the other responded, "Just a bit off."

 

[BikerEcho]

this is a good thread.

i have read somewhere on a danish computer forum (just passed by via google) a guy asked a very dumb question.
here it is translated to English: I have a 32 bit version of windows, but i want 64 bit. can i install windows again with my windows 32 bit CD on top of my already installed windows to get 64 bit?

i'm not sure if he really meant that serious, but he acted like it was in his next posts.