Oddly antisocial

[cboucher]

I would guess that probably everyone on this forum is a little like you. At least to some degree, me included. There are people like my wife's friends who have seen me at different functions for several years, yet have maybe heard me say two words in all that time. Actually I'm probably a little different than you in that I'm not really looking to talk to new people. My wife, on the other hand, loves talking to random people everywhere she goes. That's what you got to do. Hook up with someone who's a total social butterfly and let them start all the conversations.

 

[Kage]

And instead of nodding say hello or hi. I try and make a comment as well, something that will make that person walk away and think about what you just said.

Thats a good idea.

I also suffer from shyness, but I am starting to overcome it now.
I'm not very good facing people, i.e on a bus/ or even friends sat facing me. I feel uncomfortable.
I also have problems making eye contact with people walking past me on a street for example.

But the best way to spark up conversation is to observe, and mention something they may have, or if you've noticed anything that could spark a 'oh, you like '?'', etc

 

[David Lindon]

That isn't antisocial. Antisocial means sociopathic behavior.

I think thats labour government spin for doing bad things.

Anti social means exactly that, you are not very social or have difficulty in social situations.

Just start talking random stuff like if you walk into some coffee shop or something say something as you sit down like "Hey its cold out today isn't" or anything random.

If you are at a party just ask someone how they know the host etc. No one wants to stand on their own at a party and they will be glad you have taken the time to talk to them

 

[JogaBonito1502]

I used to be like that. I've grown out of it. Society puts expectations on your shoulders. It's hard to change how you are around people you already know. Just be friendly. How would you strike up a conversation on Omegle? Hey, what's up? In real life its actually much easier. Just start off with something the person is doing, or something you have in common. If you're in math class, ask them how they're doing or something. Confidence makes a whole lot of difference, especially around women

 

[muz]

I used to have what your describing , still do sometimes if im tired or got a lot going on etc . But since ive started law school my confidence has grown ten fold . Its had to i just got to a stage where i thought well one day im going to have to get up in front of a room full of people I dont know and try and convince them of something that im hopefully right about so talking to someone about the weather or how their days going really isnt difficult at all

 

[winslow33]

Those are some very good ideas.. Thanks guys! I'll trying being a little more talkative. I suppose I've always been mildly afraid of embarrassing myself or coming off as creepy, yet if there a total stranger its not like it would matter that much, ill probably never see them again

 

[foothead]

I think thats labour government spin for doing bad things.

Anti social means exactly that, you are not very social or have difficulty in social situations.

Antisocial is a personality disorder as defined by DSM-IV.

The basic criteria are:

A) There is a pervasive pattern of disregard for and the rights of others occurring since the age of 15, as indicated by three (or more) of the following:
failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest;
deceitfulness, as indicated by repeatedly lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure;
impulsivity or failure to plan ahead;
irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults;
reckless disregard for safety of self or others;
consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations;
lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another.
B) The individual is at least 18 years of age.
C) There is evidence of Conduct disorder with onset before age 15.
D) The occurrence of antisocial behavior is not exclusively during the course of schizophrenia or a manic episode.

Taken from Wikipedia.

Most people tend to confuse it with avoidant personality disorder.

 

[root]

I think thats labour government spin for doing bad things.

Anti social means exactly that, you are not very social or have difficulty in social situations.

Antisocial is a personality disorder as defined by DSM-IV.

I think you'll find that you're both right...
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/antisocial

 

[AmericanSensei]

Millions upon Millions of people suffer from the exact same thing. One of my best friends was like that in High School while I was the popular one he was back seat to everything, being extremely shy to even get close to females, let alone confront them.. I'll tell you exactly what I told him, You have to accept the fact you may get shrugged off or rejected more than you'd prefer, But it's unavoidable. Told him to have the mentality that IF they shrug you off, YOU are better off without them...Stand tall, Do NOT get embarrassed and just move on to the next person. The only way to combat shyness is to get out there and do what you fear most, Talk to people. In regards to "What to talk about", Just talk random things. If your listening to an awesome song on your Ipod, Look over to the chick next to you with a grin and tell her these guys are the best. If she buys into it, Go from there. At some point it just becomes natural. However the obvious thing here is if you remain shy and don't attempt to spark conversations with people, You'll never get past this.

Keep your head up buddy, You'll overcome it! No Fear!