Jokes thread #2

[Dark Night]

Well I dont know about you but I miss the old one and I hope this one becomes a sticky because most of the jokes here are funny. So bring them on...

 

[JogaBonito1502]

Oo. There was a jokes thread? I don't remember it lol. Well maybe it was before my time.

Blond joke (answer in white).
What do you do if a blond throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin, and throw it back

Brazilian joke (explanation and answer in white)
Why are there no jokes in Portugal?
Because it's all true.

Explanation: In Brazil we make fun of Portuguese people for being dumb. Most of our jokes are about them.

edit: What's the background color? I can't get it to blend in.

 

[Dark Night]

There was a blond and she went into a bar that was about to close. So she went to the bartender and asked him to use the phone because she needed to call her mom. He said not for free. So she asked what she had to do. So the bartender said come to the back room for a little something. So they do and he pulls his pants down and says," Give it a try!" The blond takes it and says," Mom? Are you there?"

 

[blackjack]

BRA SHOPPING

A very flat-chested Blond finally decided she needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of one in her size. She entered an upscale department store and approached the saleslady in lingerie, ?Do you have a size 28AAAA bra??
The clerk haughtily replied in the negative, so she left the store and proceeded to another department store where she is rebuffed in much the same manner. After a third try at another department store in the mall, she had become disgusted. Leaving the mall, she drove to K-Mart.

Marching up to the sales clerk, she unbuttoned and threw open her blouse, yelling, ?Do you have anything for this??

The lady looked closely at her and replied, ?Have you tried Clearasil??

 

[Celegorm]

Well I dont know about you but I miss the old one and I hope this one becomes a sticky because most of the jokes here are funny. So bring them on...

If you missed the old one why didn't you keep it alive? The music thread is living because people use it. Clearly not the case with the jokes thread. This will not be stickied.

No comments about ^ that here. If you have a problem with it, PM me.

 

[Trivium Nate]

BRA SHOPPING

A very flat-chested Blond finally decided she needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of one in her size. She entered an upscale department store and approached the saleslady in lingerie, ?Do you have a size 28AAAA bra??
The clerk haughtily replied in the negative, so she left the store and proceeded to another department store where she is rebuffed in much the same manner. After a third try at another department store in the mall, she had become disgusted. Leaving the mall, she drove to K-Mart.

Marching up to the sales clerk, she unbuttoned and threw open her blouse, yelling, ?Do you have anything for this??

The lady looked closely at her and replied, ?Have you tried Clearasil??

i dont get it....

 

[JogaBonito1502]

I don't either. She a man? Lol. I have no idea.

 

[Dark Night]

If you missed the old one why didn't you keep it alive? The music thread is living because people use it. Clearly not the case with the jokes thread. This will not be stickied.

No comments about ^ that here. If you have a problem with it, PM me.

About what

 

[Celegorm]

About what

it not being stickied

 

[superman22x]

i dont get it....

I don't either. She a man? Lol. I have no idea.

You are kidding right? Have you ever heard the term mosquito bites? lol

Funny quotes:
"I don't mind coming to work, but that eight hour wait to go home is a bitch."

"It takes a lot of balls to golf like I do."

"Lifes a bitch, Dont vote for one" -Barack Obama

"Mud holes are like a girl with an STD, you want to hit, but are afraid of the consequences"

Posted by stook36
looks like a honda, mustang and a ranger had a threesome

"Gas, Grass, or Ass, no one rides for free."

"Burns gas, Hauls Ass."