Quotes from old people who are totally dumbfounded by computers

[Ashley1]

I think the one that has made me laugh most was a story my dad was telling me a while back. So the story starts out that my dads friend from work is trying to set something up, iirc it was his internet.

So things wern't going right and he calls the help line.
After a little discussion the tech says:
Tech: So what is on your Desktop at the moment sir
Dads Friend: Well my coffee cup, a pen, my phone some bits of paper, the monitor, keyboard and mouse.
Tech: No sir by desktop i mean what is displayed on your pc monitor.

If i was the tech on then end of the phone i probably would have laughed for quite a while. lol

 

[Brookfield]

Thanks, and no, I live in America. I might do a couple of Google searches and see if I can't find something that way. But ask him anyway, he might have something I can't find. Thanks.

Oh I will Jerv, no probs

 

[Rubber314Chicken]

my mom always tell mes to unplug the internet.... I tell her that she needs to say disconnect my computer from the network, or unplug my cat6 cable, or even just unplug your network cable, but she never listens.... so one day I just unplugged the phone line from the modem (dsl) and everyone wondered why the internet was down.... "You told me to unplug the internet, so I did"

 

[hascet]

On HP's atleast I know that there is a piece of hardware called ILO(Integrated Lights Out) that corresponds with a piece of software that allows you to shut down turn back on, and restart. But I only saw it on servers...

 

[borat_sagdiyev]

my mom always tell mes to unplug the internet.... I tell her that she needs to say disconnect my computer from the network, or unplug my cat6 cable, or even just unplug your network cable, but she never listens.... so one day I just unplugged the phone line from the modem (dsl) and everyone wondered why the internet was down.... "You told me to unplug the internet, so I did"

why does she tell you to unplug the cables?

 

[Rubber314Chicken]

why does she tell you to unplug the cables?

1) she doesn't want me to be online at 2 am
2) she thinks I only look at pr0n online.

 

[BrynF_UK]

1) she doesn't want me to be online at 2 am

you mean you dont?

2) she thinks I only look at pr0n online.

you mean you dont?!?!

 

[Computer Head]

Back when i worked at the school district, one of *my* teachers was really computer illiterate. One day I was on the help desk and she called me, and asked me how to turn on her computer. I told her to find a button in the middle of the computer and push it.

 

[Jesusfrk611]

Just remembered some...

All I ever have anymore is stupid computer teachers, they don't understand the subject they teach. I was in Web Mastering class in 8th grade. We had watched a video the previous class about how to do some things, but the instructions were on Netscape browser instead of IE (they didn't have FF...). Well we went to write a sample HTML code on notepad, and no one could figure out how to view the page after it has been written. It was only in the video... I had mine up for at least 10 minutes just watching every other stupid person in the room before someone noticed my screen...

My history teacher refuses to learn how to use computers. She just knows the basics to do stuff for grading/attendance purposes. She said she doesn't know how to compose an email, only to reply to one... One day the tech came in to upgrade her system to a newer model. She asks if she will lose any of the grades or anything like that... The grades are all on the network, that would be really stupid to have all the grades just on her computer.

On a test I took in my animation class he had a bunch of questions he made up that just had to do with computers in general. One question was something like, What is RAM measured in? The correct answer in his mind is Gigabites, yeah, well, systems at that time were still being sold with 512MB of RAM... Another of the choices was bits, and that what it should have been. Obviously you aren't going to say I have 2 million bits of RAM (just off the top of my head) you say it in a more standard way, but it's still measured in bits... I answered GB b/c I knew at that time how my teacher thought.

Just had to talk someone through copying a file from a CD to the desktop over the phone. I like to hit Ctrl-C, Ctrl-V, but I knew I should explain the easier way. Highlight the file you want to copy (just so they know which file, dealing w/ comp illiterates here), right click it, click Copy, go to the desktop, the main screen with the picture on it, right click the desktop and click paste. I had to slow down and explain a second time, I added the desktop description the second time, lol. I hate helping over the phone.

 

[borat_sagdiyev]

Just remembered some...

All I ever have anymore is stupid computer teachers, they don't understand the subject they teach. I was in Web Mastering class in 8th grade. We had watched a video the previous class about how to do some things, but the instructions were on Netscape browser instead of IE (they didn't have FF...). Well we went to write a sample HTML code on notepad, and no one could figure out how to view the page after it has been written. It was only in the video... I had mine up for at least 10 minutes just watching every other stupid person in the room before someone noticed my screen...

My history teacher refuses to learn how to use computers. She just knows the basics to do stuff for grading/attendance purposes. She said she doesn't know how to compose an email, only to reply to one... One day the tech came in to upgrade her system to a newer model. She asks if she will lose any of the grades or anything like that... The grades are all on the network, that would be really stupid to have all the grades just on her computer.

On a test I took in my animation class he had a bunch of questions he made up that just had to do with computers in general. One question was something like, What is RAM measured in? The correct answer in his mind is Gigabites, yeah, well, systems at that time were still being sold with 512MB of RAM... Another of the choices was bits, and that what it should have been. Obviously you aren't going to say I have 2 million bits of RAM (just off the top of my head) you say it in a more standard way, but it's still measured in bits... I answered GB b/c I knew at that time how my teacher thought.

Just had to talk someone through copying a file from a CD to the desktop over the phone. I like to hit Ctrl-C, Ctrl-V, but I knew I should explain the easier way. Highlight the file you want to copy (just so they know which file, dealing w/ comp illiterates here), right click it, click Copy, go to the desktop, the main screen with the picture on it, right click the desktop and click paste. I had to slow down and explain a second time, I added the desktop description the second time, lol. I hate helping over the phone.

oh dude i know how you feel about helping over the phone.

i had to explain to my dad over the phone how to connect to a wifi network at a truck stop in the states, and how to setup an account with the hotspot thingy where you pay for the wifi for like 24 hours or watever. boy, that was hell.