My parents arent married and have been together 18 nearly 19 years now i actually think getting married is a stupid idea cos how can signing a piece of paper make you love someone more ?
and that piece of paper dosent suddenly make it impossible to break up i have a few friends whose parents have broke up so marriage dosent make any difference
Alot of what you say is true and makes sense, marriage is merely a symbol...like you said, it doesn't (and can't) magically make you love someone more. It's just a symbol of ultimate commitment, forsaking all others to be with one's ain true love. Your parents obviously care a great deal for each other to have stayed together that long so as you say, they don't need that piece of paper to have each others love. Marriage is irrelevant to love.
But here in America the people (much like the stereotypes..even though I hate that word) are really rather old fashioned in their views when it comes to sex before marriage, unmarried couples living together etc. Of course not all Americans are like that, but a good many still do, I feel as though old fashioned people are regarded in this Age of Information as rigid, unyielding and close minded to other points of view...in a way it's nothing new, as with Old World puritan's who settled this country their views were replaced over time by what was thought to be the "new age" line of thinking, rooted in Logic rather than Scripture, this line of thinking was in turn was replaced yet again by something convinced as "better", it's a pattern that continues on and will continue on. The new replacing the old.
At times we as Americans are a paradox of old world thinking and "morality" but at the same time being a godless society, the way alot Americans think is rooted in Scripture. Doesn't make it right or wrong, we are all just different, each view has Truths to it, it's impossible for a view point to be 100% "right" as people have different views on what exactly "right" is. One mans right can be another mans wrong.
I think what Rudster meant was it's one thing to live together and have sex before marriage but when a child is involved things change. If two people live together, have sex 8 times a day and break up after 3 years, no big deal, feelings change and people move on. But a child does not choose to be born, so the parents have a responsibility to raise the child, and it is harder on a child when he doesn't know his father or mother, or is raised in a unstable home or doesn't feel wanted, a burden on everyone even though he/she did not have a choice in the matter. Children need stability, a normalcy.
Granted it's not always like that with unwed couples having children, look at Muz, a perfectly normal, functional person. His parents marital status doesn't change him, he was Blessed with good parents though who cared for him and put forth a effort to give him a good raising. But I think most people feel as though when you are married, you chose to marry that someone because you saw something in them, you see yourself spending the rest of your life with them. Children like marriage is a big responsibility, I think children are a even bigger responsibility than marriage and most Americans feel as though if a person chose to make a massive commitment such as marriage then children should follow suit and the wedded couple are "ready" to bring life to this world.
That's my personal view. Where I grew up in a rural part of the Deep South is the place where the people here are truly very old fashioned, at times to a extreme. I can relate to it more, there is a pining for the simple things, the social rules have a gentility and honor to it, all rooted in a tradition that is impossible to put into words. But as I've gotten older I see the logic and reason of New age stuff. People want to move forward, improve the quality of life by making things easier, faster and cheaper. Not be constrained by a backward and inefficient line of thinking where one set of dusty, rigid and outdated morals are preached, where people can access truly vast amounts of information and "know" more, on any subject under the sun. Make their own decisions on what is right and wrong and erase preconceived ideas, stereotypes and social injustices. The simplicity that is desired...for everyone to simply live as humans, ignore another mans race, color and ethnicity, ignore what his background is, his religion/faith. Accept him for what he is. I love that aspect of the new age thinking, the simplicity of it all. One computer that can replace things like calculators, encyclopedias, dictionary's, cd players, one machine that frees up so much space and saves materials. Anything is within reach, instant gratification at it's finest. Where any one person can explore and do research and decide for his self what morals he wants to live by. Again, one mans perception of Truth is not that of another mans.
I like to fancy myself as a Thinker