Getting things off my chest...

Anubis1980

Daemon Poster
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1,308
Well u dont have to read this, i just feel like i need to get it off my chest, its a bit of a crappy story, not even sure why im saying it here i normally keep things bottled up, so dont read if u dont want to.

Ive suffered from depression for 5 years quite bad. 3 months ago i came back to the uk to stay at my best friends house in London, to start a new life/get back on track with my health etc. The day i was due to leave i woke up and thought my friend was sleeping on the sofa, so went back to bed, woke up a bit later, wont explain things graphically here, but she had passed away ( the image of her will never leave me and neither will my guilt). I had to phone her daughter, ill never forget that day, believe me ive been trying. The past 3 months have been horrendously hard for me, she was the world to me my helper when i was down and out, whether u belive in god or not im hoping she is in a better place now.

Just this last hour i have had a visit from the RSPCA cos apparantly i have been abusing my puppy. shes a very loud whiney dog, they left and they were content she wqas happy, but it just upsets me to think that someone would thing id hurt the only thing that has kept me sane the last 3 months, shes 4 months old now, and apart from screaming whenever i brush her or leave her (the inspector brushed her and she also whined a lot so i think they know what the noise is now). Sorry for this rant, i live in a flat alone with my dog which isnt great for my health, so i needed to get it off my chest, mods u can delete it if it isnt appropriate...

Just a bit p***** at neighbours who wont come and tell me about my 'abused' dog. So now u know why i post here a lot :) i dont have a life lol and i guess it gives me something to do when im at my pc. Should i post bad eggs thru my neighbours letter boxes in case they were the ones who reported me...
 
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just remember that she wouldn't want you to be sad. just be as positive as you can. i get real depressed sometimes and i just want to die/feel like my problems wont go away. a day later and after a good sleep i feel much better and i realize i cant keep feeling sorry for myself (that never works!) and my problems can be solved after all.
just have some more fun, go out places, buy your favorite snacks, whatever. just anything to take your mind off your problems + you cant stay at home all day doing nothing anyway (i go insane when i do that, and i probs will be insane after my day in today)
you could argue i dont have a life. i dont have tons of friends, a girlfriend or anything, but i make the most of what ive got and i realise now that feeling sorry for myself is not the answer. as long as you make the most of what youve got ull be happy, just like i am
 
Forget the eggs. That will just get you in a mess you don't need right now. As for the loss of your friend I can relate to that. I've lost people close to me and yes it hurts. But over time the hurt goes away. I'm sure she would want you to get on with your life as best you can.
I'm not a doctor but I would prescribe getting out and doing that a lot more than you seem to be now. Being alone is not a good thing. You mind has to have some stimulation. Go to the park. Go shopping even if you don't buy anything. Just get out of the house. Interacting with other folks makes the hurt go away that much sooner. Being alone does not.
As for your puppy whining when she gets brushed could be several things.
She could have sensitive skin which in that case switch to a softer brush and use less pressure to brush her.
Could be the doggy shampoo is irritating her skin.
Or she could just be afraid. Get a wind up clock and wrap it in a heavy towel and let her listen to that while you brush her. I found that trick worked when I got my puppy years ago and she got to be a handfull. When you go out and leave her alone wind it up, wrap it in the towel and put it where she sleeps. She'll find it and curl up with it.
I'm a cat person by choice but I've had a couple of dogs over the years. Mark Thorpe here in this forum will be able to be of more help with your dog. He works in a shelter I think.
But as for your depression, don't wallow in it. Do something and do it right now.
 
Hey if you ever need to talk hit me up on AIM my sn is the same as CF's. All I can say is keep your chin up. I've suffered from depression myself after my life was basically stripped away from me. You just gotta fight through it. You can either give in or do something to make a change. Looking back from 4 years ago and i'm a completly different person today. I could tell you many different storys of things i've been through but it would take me days to right it all.

These forums are really great as i've said before they keep me out of the bars and out of trouble. Plus it helps me keep more money in the bank by giving me something to do I guess.

You can't blame yourself for your friend there. I'd probally do the same thing if I saw someone on the couch. As for your neighbors that called the animal police on you i'd go over and assertively talk to the them.
 
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