Jokes Thread

[Celegorm]

Lol the sad part is I could read the entire thing without slowing down. I think that's a sign of too much time texting/IM'ing.

 

[Thelis]

Pfft i had lik no truble rding tht... i am soo good at this whole im thing..lol good 1 raffz

 

[StickFace]

haha

 

[Thelis]

HOT NEWS ABOUT EUROPE

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 persent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changed are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru!

The ironic part is that actually sounds like German in the end. Well, English with a heavy German accent.

 

[Raffaz]

The ironic part is that actually sounds like German in the end. Well, English with a heavy German accent.

Thats the joke lol

 

[Thelis]

Ah... tha... well... I mea...

This is not my mistake. These are not the droids you are looking for.

 

[Celegorm]

Watch a little too much Star Wars Thelis???

 

[Thelis]

I don't watch it. I take the disks, crush them up into little pieces and inhale. I also use it as seasoning.

 

[Thelis]

I don't watch it. I take the disks, crush them up into little pieces and inhale. I also use it as seasoning.

Edit: ^This is an example of the side effects.

 

[Brookfield]

This isn't a joke, it happened to a friend of the family, 23 years old, she was at a function in one of London's best hotels, half way through the proceedings she needed the bathroom so she went upstairs, when she'd finished she tried flushing the toilet, but it didn't go away, she tried & tried but no use, as one of her friends saw her go in there she felt that she must get rid of it, so, tearing off a load of toilet paper she gingerly got hold of the um, you know what, & standing on a chair managed to throw it through a fanlight thinking it would land in some shrubbery at the back of the hotel, minutes later she walked down the main staircase, wondering what everyone was looking up at, & there "it" was, in the middle of the glass roof of the large conservatory where everyone was gathered for after dinner drinks.