Jokes Thread
- Thread starter Celegorm
- Start date
mammikoura
Golden Master
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- 7,459
Haha, I love the bush one!
Brookfield
Golden Master
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- 10,056
Blimey Mike, who did you offend??,lol., I'm enjoying the jokes thread, who's the spoil-sport?, it's a JOKES thread for chrissakes!!
Raffaz
Golden Master
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EH??? im confused, it was a double post, it even says so.
Brookfield
Golden Master
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- 10,056
Sorry, I didn't notice the edit explanation, I thought some prat was taking the thread too seriously.EH??? im confused, it was a double post, it even says so.
Raffaz
Golden Master
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- 6,798
Na, this is one area where things run smoothly
Raffaz
Golden Master
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- 6,798
The Perfect Husband
Several men are in the members bar of a golf club. A cell phone on a chair nearby rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker- function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: "I'm in London shopping now and I've found this beautiful leather coat. It's only £500. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2007 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "£45,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking £450,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make them an offer, but just offer £400,000."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"
MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the members bar are looking at him in astonishment.
Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know whose phone this is?"
Several men are in the members bar of a golf club. A cell phone on a chair nearby rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker- function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: "I'm in London shopping now and I've found this beautiful leather coat. It's only £500. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2007 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "£45,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking £450,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make them an offer, but just offer £400,000."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"
MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the members bar are looking at him in astonishment.
Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know whose phone this is?"
Ahyoka
Daemon Poster
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- 1,373
A traveling salesman came upon an old farmer sitting on his porch, next to the farmer was a pig with only one leg.
The salesman was about to give his sales pitch when his curriosity got the best of him.
"Excuse me sir, but why does your pig only have one leg?" asked the salesman.
The Farmer replied, "Well sonny , I'll tell ya. One day I was out plowing the back 40 when my tractor overturned, pinning me underneath. I was losing blood and thought I would die when that pig came running. He dug and rooted around with his nose till he got me out and he dragged me back to the house. Saved my life that pig did!"
"Wow, that's really amazing" said the salesman, "but I still don't know why the pig only has one leg."
"Well I'll tell ya", said the farmer. "One night me and the wife were asleep at about 3am when a fire broke out in the kitchen. Well that pig broke down the door, came into our bedroom waking us up and getting us out before the fire could get us , saved our lives that pig did!"
"Well that really great sir, but why does the pig only have one leg?" Asked the Salesman.
The old Farmer looked at the Salesman and said "Well sonny, when you get a pig that smart, you don't want to eat him all at once!"
The salesman was about to give his sales pitch when his curriosity got the best of him.
"Excuse me sir, but why does your pig only have one leg?" asked the salesman.
The Farmer replied, "Well sonny , I'll tell ya. One day I was out plowing the back 40 when my tractor overturned, pinning me underneath. I was losing blood and thought I would die when that pig came running. He dug and rooted around with his nose till he got me out and he dragged me back to the house. Saved my life that pig did!"
"Wow, that's really amazing" said the salesman, "but I still don't know why the pig only has one leg."
"Well I'll tell ya", said the farmer. "One night me and the wife were asleep at about 3am when a fire broke out in the kitchen. Well that pig broke down the door, came into our bedroom waking us up and getting us out before the fire could get us , saved our lives that pig did!"
"Well that really great sir, but why does the pig only have one leg?" Asked the Salesman.
The old Farmer looked at the Salesman and said "Well sonny, when you get a pig that smart, you don't want to eat him all at once!"
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