superman22x
Golden Master
- Messages
- 7,904
So true, cept us complex computer men. We can snap plastic togethor too.
brilliant ever heard that before lolRaffaz said:Women according to an Engineer
Woman- As Explained by Engineers
Finally - an explanation of Woman that makes sense to a man:
1, To find a woman you need time and money, therefore:
Woman = Time x Money
2, Time is money:
Time = Money
3, Therefore:
Woman = Money x Money or:
Woman = (Money) x 2
4, Money is the root of all problems:
Money = problems
5, Therefore:
Woman = (Problems) x 2
Hazardous Material Data Sheet
Element: Woman
Symbol: O+
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic Mass: Accepted as 55kgs but known to vary from 45kgs to 225kgs
Physical Properties:
1, Body surface normally covered with film of powder and paint.
2, Boils at absolutely nothing - Freezes for no apparent reason.
3, Found in various grades ranging from virgin to common ore.
Chemical Properties
1, Reacts well to gold, Platinum and all other precious stones.
2, Explodes spontaneously without reason or warnings.
3, The most powerful money reducing agent known to man.
Common Use
1, Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2, Can greatly aid relaxtion.
3, Can be a very effective cleaning agent.
Hazards
1, Turns green when placed alongside a superior specimen.
2, Possession of more than one is possible but specimens must never make eye contact.
An oldie, but a goodie. Please enjoy and no offense meant to any sex is intended.
Patient, Give me the bad news first
You have cancer & have about 2 years left
How can that be good news?
You also have Alzheimer's, in about 3 months you'll forget everything I just told you
hahahahaha omg i wasnt expecting that. lol thats a classic. ill give you +1 if it will let meFriends!
Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids.
The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."
The second guy said, "Damn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline; he then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday."
The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion."
The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?"
One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons....What about your son?"
The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub."
The three friends said: "What a shame...what a disappointment."
The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he's lucky, too. His birthday just passed and the other day he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends."