Raffaz
Golden Master
- Messages
- 6,798
We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules:
Please note... these are all number "1"
Breasts are for looking at and that is it why we do it. Don't try to change that.
Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never
going to think that way.
Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
JUST SAY IT!
‘Yes' and ‘No' are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question
Come to us with a problem only if you need help solving it That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem See a Doctor
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days
If you think you're fat, you probably are are. Don't ask us
If something we said can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is
If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing " we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to , expect an answer you don't want to hear
When we have to go somewhere, anything you wear is absolutely fine, Really
Don't ask us what we're thinking unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as:
Sex,
Sport or
Cars
You have enough clothes
You have too many shoes
I am in shape. Round is a shape.
Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know i have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules:
Please note... these are all number "1"
Breasts are for looking at and that is it why we do it. Don't try to change that.
Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never
going to think that way.
Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
JUST SAY IT!
‘Yes' and ‘No' are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question
Come to us with a problem only if you need help solving it That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem See a Doctor
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days
If you think you're fat, you probably are are. Don't ask us
If something we said can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is
If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing " we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to , expect an answer you don't want to hear
When we have to go somewhere, anything you wear is absolutely fine, Really
Don't ask us what we're thinking unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as:
Sex,
Sport or
Cars
You have enough clothes
You have too many shoes
I am in shape. Round is a shape.
Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know i have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education