Men dont listen

[Raffaz]

Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a cheque."

"Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog Spike. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot! I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"

When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. Just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"





To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"






Men just don't listen!

 

[Steff]

Yes, I agree!!

 

[GlasseyeUK]

Husband always insisted on making love in the dark. After 20 years, wife turns on the light, finds him holding a vibrator. She goes ballistic.

"You impotent bastard!! How could you lie to me all these years?"

The husband calmly looks her straight in the eyes, and calmly says

"I'll explain the toy! You explain the kids......."


****************************************************

Jack and Jill were just married and Jack took off his trousers and said to Jill "Try these on" Jill looked at him and said "The're too big" Jack says "exactly, I wear the trousers in this marriage and I always will"

Jill turns round and says "Try on my knickers on " and Jack says "I'll never get into them"

Jill says "Exactly and if you don't change your attitude then you never will"

 

[Steff]

hahaha, the jack and jill one made me laugh

 

[Raffaz]

Im getting flashbacks from that jack and jill joke

 

[pc trade post]

lol those are pretty funny

 

[Infin1ty1]

lol yes you have caught us.. my girlfriend accuses me of not listening all the time, if you ask me its just selective hearing because she always tries to talk to me when im distracted (usually by the TV lol.)

 

[Tommy Boy]

Lmao.....funny!

 

[kjman87]

yeah its not that we don't listen...we hear you but its selective...

 

[~mr mixx~]

And you'll never see us asking for directions either...hahahahaha !!

-edit-

Huh? What ? No, you can't have your own cell phone...Good humor