Jokes!

jibber

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Well i have noticed there a alot of jokes here at the moment so i thought, hey why not make a thread that everyone can sure there jokes! So heres mine...

A blind man enters a bar and find his way to a barstool. After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a husky, deep voice,the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I'm a 6' tall, 200 pound blonde with a black belt in karate. What's more, the fella sitting next to me is blonde and he's a weightlifter. The woman to your right is a blonde, and she's a pro wrestler. Think about it seriously, mister. You still wanna tell that blonde joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
 
You may not understand this [Brit humour]

A woman in the street stumbled, & out of a bag of eggs she was carrying, two plopped onto the pavement/sidewalk, next to each other, she bent over, trying to clear the mess away, & a guy passing by called out, "Hey, never mind lady, it wouldn't have lived, it's eyes are too close together!"
 
Brookfield said:
You may not understand this [Brit humour]

A woman in the street stumbled, & out of a bag of eggs she was carrying, two plopped onto the pavement/sidewalk, next to each other, she bent over, trying to clear the mess away, & a guy passing by called out, "Hey, never mind lady, it wouldn't have lived, it's eyes are too close together!"
You're right...I don't get it. :confused:
 
PCNoob said:
You're right...I don't get it. :confused:
Hope it's OK to explain this here, the guy joked that it looked like she had miscarried, & that the two egg yolks laying close together looked like the pair of eyes of a foetus, ged it?....er, I didn't write it!, not good, huh?
 
acottenham said:
Well i have noticed there a alot of jokes here at the moment so i thought, hey why not make a thread that everyone can sure there jokes! So heres mine...

A blind man enters a bar and find his way to a barstool. After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a husky, deep voice,the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I'm a 6' tall, 200 pound blonde with a black belt in karate. What's more, the fella sitting next to me is blonde and he's a weightlifter. The woman to your right is a blonde, and she's a pro wrestler. Think about it seriously, mister. You still wanna tell that blonde joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
I heard that joke, except it was about University of Alabama fans. lol
 
News Anchoress: "So Trevor, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?
Becky Mantin - BBC weathergirl, the day after it was supposed to snow and didn't, to black newsreader, Trevor McDonald

Haha, I don't think this is actually true, but funny!
 
freestyler105 said:
News Anchoress: "So Trevor, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?
Becky Mantin - BBC weathergirl, the day after it was supposed to snow and didn't, to black newsreader, Trevor McDonald

Haha, I don't think this is actually true, but funny!
It is true in a way, but the wrong Trevor, it wasn't TrevorMc Donald, but a weather forecaster nicknamed "Trevor the weather" quite a few years ago, & the "eight inches" question was asked him by the programme presenter, somebody got it a little garbled over the years, good though!!, it was also on an out-takes programme. The one that astonished me more was when the Welsh weather girl on ITV, was interviewing a good-looking guy for some reason, said "No chance of a sh*g then?", now I don't think could have gone out live!!, it was a sort of an off camera out-take I think.
 
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