Tech Support Bloopers...

-Paul-

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And this doesnt surprise me that people said this...


This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills! If you skip any, you have to read the last one!
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Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....
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Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.
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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
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Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
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Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
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Customer: Can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
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And last but not least...

Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
 
LoL hahaha there funny i read one that was long ill try to search it tho
 
Yea i work at tech support and ive heard it all...my favorite thus far was a supervisor call that i had to take. ill pull out my old sup notes.

Ok these are the exact notes that i had taken on that call.


"Customer is upset because her computer is not working properly after installing msn beta. She cannot uninstall programs. Called partners, they said that the cannot touch anything because its not their software. Gave me microsoft support number. Told customer service rep at microsoft what the issue was. Brought the customer on the line. Rep got the registration code from the customer and put us on hold to get us to the right tech. Rep had transferred us to the Anti pirasy hotline, customers os was pirated. Customer is going to call her sister to get the recovery disk that was originally on her computer. Going to call customer in 1 week to see if customer has obtained the recovery cd, and to see if she needs further assistance."


As soon as i heard "ok ma'am i have the anti piracy hotline on with us". I was lmao.
 
you work at tech support? ok. i have a biillion quesions for u.

number 1#: why are you guys always obsessed with "hold"? "please hold"

more to come :)
 
Couldnt anwser that. I never put my customers on hold unless im transferring. If you have a tech constantly putting u on hold while troubleshooting and then coming back to you with more info. There usually under qualified or new.

i actually dont talk to customers unless they request a supervisor. I talk to techs that have questions. (the ones that put you on hold to ask me for help)
 
Haha, some of those were pretty funny. True or false though?
 
I would like to tech support just for a lil whiile to have a good story to tell. I know a guy that works at a call center, he says if he wouldn't have a sense of hummor that he'd of killed himself by now.
 
None of the above suprise me at all. I had one customer who couldnt figure out why his INSTALLATION cd was not working. I asked him what was on his screen, and he said "error reading disc". He then decided to tell me that he put it in his DVD player. I then asked him in the nicest way. How he would install usb drivers using his dvd player.
 
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