by my mom's request...

[Flipper]

or being kidnapped and molested...

Nice addition .

 

[HRHunteRHR]

Personally if I have kids, I will not allow them to use the computer unsupervised, and that would be up to the age of 16, either that or I will have the most stringent child protection programs in place, with only limited sites available.

I would really have to be convinced to allow use of messengers, even so I would still vet who they were talking to. Until I can be assured that the internet is taking more precautions to protect the safety of children, which ULTIMATELY is the parents responsibility, there is no way I would let my kids roam free on it. They wouldn't have a computer in their bedroom, but then I wouldn't allow a TV in their room.

Thats my personal opinion, and yes its probably going to outrage some of those people that its breaking the child's rights of freedom and privacy, but they are my responsibility, while they live in my house then my word goes. I will talk through my reasons with my child, but my rules would stand.

Loving your child and protecting your child is not a breach of privacy or a breach of their rights, not in today's world where children are allowed to roam free with little or no authority or control.

ROFLMFAO You will be one screwed up parent then! This is sarcasm right???

 

[pc trade post]

well, i think you should monitor their use sometimes, but i mean, come on, let them have some privacy.

 

[HRHunteRHR]

Why even give them computer "privlages"???

I would just use the phone to talk to my friends if that were the case....

 

[GlasseyeUK]

ROFLMFAO You will be one screwed up parent then! This is sarcasm right???

Thanks for your opinion, no its not sarcasm, and your questioning of my parenting skills, as I have said it is my right to parent how I feel is appropriate, my kids will know I love them, will support them in anything they do, however they will not be rude to people they don't know, a basic value which some obivously cannot recognise.

Why even give them computer "privlages"???

I would just use the phone to talk to my friends if that were the case....

I would allow them access to the internet, as it is an invaluable resource, in the UK I have found the library to be hopelessly out of date, to deny them the access to that resource of information would be wrong however it needs to be monitored. I have at no point said that I would deny them contact with their friends, its funny how people see what they want to see, and then conveniently forget the rest.

 

[HRHunteRHR]

Thanks for your opinion, no its not sarcasm, and your questioning of my parenting skills, as I have said it is my right to parent how I feel is appropriate, my kids will know I love them, will support them in anything they do, however they will not be rude to people they don't know, a basic value which some obivously cannot recognise.



I would allow them access to the internet, as it is an invaluable resource, in the UK I have found the library to be hopelessly out of date, to deny them the access to that resource of information would be wrong however it needs to be monitored. I have at no point said that I would deny them contact with their friends, its funny how people see what they want to see, and then conveniently forget the rest.

Well, all I have to say is.

It's the internet .

I don't know you, but I know enough from what you said to realise that you're going to be a bad parent if you constantly monitor everything your kids do. You see, all the little preps at my school, they feel too monitored, then a bad seed comes along and invites them into a world of "secrets", where the kids that haven't been exposed to enough freedom get to get some of that freedom from their parents, they try new, BAD things. Things that are harmful, such as drugs. If you don't give your kid breathing space I can guarantee they will do something bad. I have a relationship with my mom that is HONEST. I tell her pretty much everything I do, save some really stupdi things. I told her that I used her nail polish in a spray bottle and a lighter with my friends to make a flamethrower, and how it got burning nail polish remover and stuff on my ipod and messed it up pretty good (I bought it with my own money). You know what she said? She said that when she was younger a kid at her school burnt his face doing things like that, and that if I ever did it again, I would probobly burn my face off, let alone my ipod. Since then I have never done something that stupid.

However, if you mean, like, block harmful content like pornography and violent images you don't want your kids to be exposed to, then I can totally agree with you. I made that little comment with the insinuation that you planned on reading your kid's conversations and things like that, seeing what sites they go to, maybe even looking at their stuff. Now THAt is a sign of a power trip, or some disease. That's just stupid. You don't do things like that to your kids, I mean, unless they don't know and you don't really plan on telling them.

 

[Flipper]

planned on reading your kid's conversations and things like that

Whats the point of logging it without reading them? Can you even find out about things like drugs by not reading them?

 

[nstepho]

I would be extremely annoyed if my parents were to look at my MSN conversations (not that they do, and there's nothing to incriminating in their anyway). To me this is no different to picking up the 2nd phone while mum or dad is talking to someone and listening to their conversation. It's just plain rude. As for the internet however, obviously there are some sites children should not see.

 

[Flipper]

Think about MySpace...there are several arrests and such almost every week. You should at least check their history, see what sites they are visiting...some kids put their city and cell phone number and all this on their myspace.

 

[GlasseyeUK]

okay, you live in the UK, and i dunno how old you are, so maybe you havent heard but...
what the hell are you talking about, i know that my dad when he was my age (14) was jumping trains to ride around all day, and once ended up 2 states away. he'd just roam around the city of chicago, ride subways, buses, and noone was worried

today, children are so sheltered, that they dont even know whats best for them, parents wont let ther children watch TV anymore because they think that the sexual implications/jokes and profanities are corrupting ther kids, whether you like it or not, there is nothing, and i mean nothing you can do to shelter them from sex (omg!) and swearing(OMG!)
okay, lets say you dont allow them to watch TV, or go on the computer, well other kids do, so they teach ur kid about it, you'd be surprised wat kids learn at school besides math...

alright well that ends my seminar on parenting...

and have feelings man, i can see no internet, but no computer?! and no TV?!? thats just wrong...

I have to laugh, I have never said that that they will have no TV, I have said that they won't have a tv in their room, I have never said that they will have no internet, I have merely said that it what they are allowed to do on it will be restricted until they are at an age where they are in a position to protect themselves.

I have not said that I will restrict their social life, but I will know who they are with and who they are with. I see in the areas that I work kids swearing, hitting out and hitting at their parents with no respect because they HAVE no boundaries, I disagree with you totally that kids are so sheltered, in fact kids have more freedom given to them, then ever before, this is a legal fact but todays world is different from the age when I grew up, yes you could leave the keys in your front door, you knew your neighbours, and most of all you trusted them.

I was allowed to roam free, do what I want, but I can guarantee that my parents knew what I was doing because there was a strong community which supported each other.

So no I cannot prevent them from seeing these things, or knowing about them, I don't want them to not see them, but I can educate them to know better, to have respect, to teach them about the dangers of sex, that the movies are not a true picture, to teach them to practice safe sex, there have been many threads in which people have talked about owning knives, buying weapons, I acknowledge that America is a completely different culture to the UK, not one though which is alien to me but the idea of a young person owning a knife or a firearm is absolutely craziness in my opinion.

The change in what is supposed to be good parenting and also the nature of the world has coincided in a rise with teenage pregnancies, teenage violence, and generally more of a gang culture, this has been brought upon by many things, not just parenting, but I will know one thing, is that when I have kids they will know what is right and wrong, they will have the strength to stand up for themselves, and have respect for people who deserve their respect.

As I have said in my first post I knew when I expressed my views on this, I would come from a backlash from certain members, and I was not surprised when each of you who has chosen to read and respond to what you have wished to. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, that is the point of posting on forums such as these.

I have nothing further to be said about this topic, whether you think I will be bad parent, not living in the real world or whatever, thats your own opinions and you are entitled to them, it is always a struggle with kids, teenagers to rebel against their parents, to break the rules, I know I certainly did, but the most important aspect of this is that they know who they can come to when in trouble.

In response to the person who started this thread, in my opinion 10 years old is too young to let them on the computer unrestricted however I would not go behind the child's back, I would tell them why, I would tell them its not about not trusting them, but its about protection, protecting them, I would fully make them aware of the dangers of the internet and hope that they would never encounter some of the horrors I have seen in my work.