THERE! I can read that!!
Heh, you must have jotted that down in just a minute or two given how bad the grammer is.. anyway...
I almost know how you feel.. I know this girl that I really like myself.. but I don't think it's anywhere near as deep as what you appear to have going here.. You need to tell her something...
Obviously she is not exactly your girlfriend.. thus she is open...
If she was to get in a relation ship with another guy, and it actually went somewhere, you would hate yourself for the rest of your life, I promise you that.
One of the worst possible things one can do is nothing.