crazyjoe16
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excellent, excellent first paragraph. i dunno, after that it seemed a little weird. like bunny things and stuff. but very good (especially that first paragraph)!
Yeah; its only a little beginning of the Prologue and further in, some of which I have already written, you do meet most all of the formal races created (not some that come up in the story as important kept back charactors of course ) in a great War between Hu'Zak and Eethbert. There are also some Tiberius Kalthorn childhood bits and how he gets into the Army for that battle.Assassin_666 said:yeah not bad, maybe u could give some triats of the peoples that the Immortals create, itll create a better relationship with the reader if they can imagine the peoples and their actions, or just describe the physical appearance of the immortals and then the line "created in their image" will do the rest for u.
Im writing my own book too, ive only got the prologue done, but im happy with it, if anyone wants to see it then make a post and ill display it, i just dont want to rain on Lord Ks parade and dampen it all for him.
Haha, no. Lol; I have just written a spoon-based disembowelment for Honour, and have previous written some torture which I will include in this revision. The Bunnies are purely my strange imagination and as Tulsileaf says Bunnies are not always cute. I try to describe the bunnies; like most charactors very little other than general appearance; but basically they are very teddy-bear-bunny like, so that they can get normal human appearances and facial expressions, and stand on two feet with opposing thumbs. They are not loppy-lugs four legged baby rabbits That would just be silly. Thanks though; everybody brings that up eventually.Assassin_666 said:i have a question: is it a story thats all cute n stuff, like animals that talk like the bunny people, i personally dont like that, but thats just me, others might.
its a good allround prologue, ill say it straight out.
Haha, can't work without ideas! Nah, thanks, very useful points.Assassin_666 said:no charge man, i need that sorta stuff brought up about the things i write, cuz although its a bit annoying, it makes the story that much better.
and like they say, every little bit helps.
If u want ill PM u my prologue, its a battle scene between dwarves and Lizardmen, setting the scene for the rest of the novels (theres going to be 6 books, in 3 volumes, much like tolkeins LotR sets, but the Appendicies are going to be a separate affair book, and much bigger.) Just a thought so u can get some other inspirations for battle scenes if u want. No hassel if not.